So I was eating some grapes tonight. When I eat from a bundle of grapes, I always look for the bad ones first. You know, the small ones, the not-so-optimally-firm/straightup squishy ones. I eat those to begin with so that I can get any and all undesirable experiences out of the way early so as to not avoid creating an unpleasant undercurrent of sub-par grapes. I do feel a need to eat all of them (with the exception of any truly gross looking ones), but I always try to eat them in absolute order of very worst to very best.
How is that a source of inspiration, you may ask. I will explain. Today sucked. It was absolutely horrible. I had to get up at 7:30 after being up til 2:30 the night before. I couldn't stay awake in biology. I failed my biology test. The Rockies got knocked out of the playoffs... after giving up a ninth inning lead. I had to go to weird and boring FHE. It was just not a great day. I was looking back on it all tonight as I was brushing my teeth, and I thought about my grapes, and I had a thought. We don't get to choose when we get the good and when we get the bad. It just comes. Life is like eating a bag of grapes wearing a blindfold and big, thick gloves so you can't feel what the grapes will be like with your fingers. Seriously, though, we've all heard this idea a million times in a million different packages, but it's true. I guess tonight I finally came to realize how true it is; there will always be good going on and good to come. There will also always be bad going on and more bad to come. It's not up to us to decide we want to get it all out of the way at once. We don't get to take the bad only when we're braced for it. It just comes. It is simply a matter of responding. That's the only thing we have control over. You can either be really grossed out and throw out the bag of mostly delicious grapes or you can immediately throw in another good one. As for me, I'm up for another. Today was horrible, but even before it ended it was made sweet again by getting to talk to someone I love and getting to feel her love. So although I may not get to choose when I have one experience or another, I still believe that if I keep looking forward to a better day, I will finish my bag of grapes more satisfied than I could have ever hoped.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
The Wrap up
There are some times when you just feel... right. I love those times. They take a different form for everyone. For me, those times often seem to coincide with laughter. Not just laughter because something was funny, but laughter because you're happy. It's the kind of laughter where you're pretty sure if you could see your soul, it would have a great big smile on it. I just feel so good. Sure, there's a lot of crap going on, and there are a lot of questions without answers (everything having to do with jobs/money/careers), but when you have nights like tonight it all disappears. I am so blessed to have someone in my life who helps me to have so many more 'just right' nights than I would normally hope for.
It's amazing how something as simple as the fun ending to a conversation can show you how great life is; it can turn your heart around. There are so many things; so many little things... things that can make all the difference... but only if you let them. You just have to let yourself flow in the ocean. It would be so easy to get on a set path and progress along it unaffected only to miss out on countless opportunities to find joy and learning. But to slow down and read all the signs at the zoo, to make a comparison, is to embrace life. It is allowing everything you encounter to change you in some way. Yet again, I find myself preaching and being somewhat of a dork. I guess I just love life. Or to quote Kasey Butler, I'm celebrating life! It has so much to offer, but only if you take the time to let the little things make it all... just right. I feel good. I'm happy. So happy.
It's amazing how something as simple as the fun ending to a conversation can show you how great life is; it can turn your heart around. There are so many things; so many little things... things that can make all the difference... but only if you let them. You just have to let yourself flow in the ocean. It would be so easy to get on a set path and progress along it unaffected only to miss out on countless opportunities to find joy and learning. But to slow down and read all the signs at the zoo, to make a comparison, is to embrace life. It is allowing everything you encounter to change you in some way. Yet again, I find myself preaching and being somewhat of a dork. I guess I just love life. Or to quote Kasey Butler, I'm celebrating life! It has so much to offer, but only if you take the time to let the little things make it all... just right. I feel good. I'm happy. So happy.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Moose
(don't think less of me for writing this one. But rather admire me for recognizing that inspiration is literally EVERYWHERE you turn)
Sometimes I wish I had whatever it takes to have the determination to try and try again to catch a ball in my mouth no matter how much I suck at it. I wish I slept 20 hours a day. I wish I were a dog. Along with these two admirable qualities of a dog, I find one in particular that teaches me a lesson. I wish I had the capacity to love unconditionally.
A dog will always love you. You may scold him and send him shamefully cowering away, but he will be right back in an instant. Not only will he come right back, but he will come back eager to play and cuddle. You may take away his favorite stuffed animal which he clearly loves more than anything in the world because he is tearing it to shreds, but he will curl up in your lap five minutes later without a second thought about what you did. You may step on his foot so that he yelps in pain, but he'll be right there waiting at your feet for you to throw the ball just one more time.
I realize that this sounds a little bit odd, but I mean it. A dog can forget faster than any of us. Of course, most will say that that is simply because his brain is far less complex than ours which gives him no choice because he literally forgets rather than just pushes the memory aside. But that is just the thing. We are too hung up on how we are so superior in so many ways that we lose the ability to simplify our views toward life and toward others enough to let go of our prideful feelings. If we could just realize that we are actually capable of forgetting, or if we could just realize that it really isn't that big of a deal and it will all be fine, then we would be much better off. We hold on to too much. We prevent ourselves from experiencing this adventure because we are too focused on ourselves. If we can just live in the here and now with our eyes to the future rather than living in the past with our eyes on those around us scanning to see what others think about us, then we might find a greater freedom. That will allow us to experience true love and charity. That will show us what the world full of people has to offer us.
baseball
Dreams are normally discussed in two contexts. The first happens whilst we sleep. These dreams are created by our minds in a realm that we may never grasp. Sometimes they are truly absurd. At other times they are frightening. At others they are mysterious and intriguing, or they can be heartwarming, or they can be simply entertaining. Whatever form they take, they always carry with them a certain weight of interest. What does it mean? If one's mind produced it, there must be some significance to it.
That brings me to the second way we use the term dream. This kind of dream is produced by the heart. I am speaking of the dreams that kindle our passion when we are told to 'chase our wildest dreams,' or to 'never let go of a dream'. . . or when we imagine that precious destination of 'when dreams come true.' Of course, these are the kind of dreams that can bring about great emotional anguish in response to all of those exact same addages. These dreams can produce hope. That hope can be replaced by sorrow. These dreams are something resting on the horizon waiting to be seized. They may wait there forever simply to taunt the man left to aimlessly chase. These dreams offer a man the power to define himself in any way, from the worst of terrible to the best of magnificent. They also create opportunity for a man to become lost. . . to crumble. Both of these sides of the coin can be brought to pass in either the fulfilling, or abandonment, of a dream.
So all this being said, what is a dream? This question came to my mind as I reflected on having one of my lifelong dreams shattered. . . for a second time. For most of my life I have dreamt of playing baseball at the top level of the game. At times, it seemed to be all I wanted. A few years ago, I saw that dream slip away. After becoming better through that originally supposed loss, I found the dream materializing once again. Before I knew it, that hope again rested in my sights. And today I watched it disappear rather quickly. What is it that causes a personal desire to become something that has the power to cause literal, in every sense of the word, heartache? HOPE. We build our lives around hope. A hope to have this. A hope to accomplish this. A hope to experience that. Hope is what drives us to act. If we do not hope for a specific result, we have no reason to do anything. When hope is combined with passion, a dream is formed. A concept or idea then begins to raise up, and we go with it. We ride above the earth in pursuit of that which our heart craves. We ride higher and higher until we reach the joyous safety of success or until we tumble off to an unpleasant landing of, 'not quite.' We have a tendency to put hope in anything. This habit takes us on a rollercoaster through life shooting upward only to sometimes find ourselves plummeting downward. No one will ever achieve all of their dreams. It just doesn't happen. But does that mean that we should try to avoid building hope in things. No. Because, once again, without hope, we have no reason to do anything. If we cannot put our eyes forward to something worth striving for, we cannot experience life. Hope falls. It always will, but without having it periodically pulled out from underneath us thus leaving us to smack down again on the pavement of reality, we will never know what it's like to live with your heart leading the way. That is where dreams come in. Dreams are when that hope goes beyond what sounds nice and what looks reasonable. Dreams are stretching past what seems to make sense or appears to be likely. That is where the two definitions collide. The desires of our hearts combine with the concept of the unreal to produce a dream; something that simply can't be without a little magic and a whole lot of wholehearted devotion on our parts.
Life is meant for dreaming. Dreams will drift into the distance never to be realized. But they will leave behind a mark on the pursuant. Any man who chases a dream with an honest heart and full sincerity will discover unseen treasure along that path whether or not it ends in grasping the prize. If you can't get lost in a dream, you cannot expect to find true excitement in the journey of life.
That brings me to the second way we use the term dream. This kind of dream is produced by the heart. I am speaking of the dreams that kindle our passion when we are told to 'chase our wildest dreams,' or to 'never let go of a dream'. . . or when we imagine that precious destination of 'when dreams come true.' Of course, these are the kind of dreams that can bring about great emotional anguish in response to all of those exact same addages. These dreams can produce hope. That hope can be replaced by sorrow. These dreams are something resting on the horizon waiting to be seized. They may wait there forever simply to taunt the man left to aimlessly chase. These dreams offer a man the power to define himself in any way, from the worst of terrible to the best of magnificent. They also create opportunity for a man to become lost. . . to crumble. Both of these sides of the coin can be brought to pass in either the fulfilling, or abandonment, of a dream.
So all this being said, what is a dream? This question came to my mind as I reflected on having one of my lifelong dreams shattered. . . for a second time. For most of my life I have dreamt of playing baseball at the top level of the game. At times, it seemed to be all I wanted. A few years ago, I saw that dream slip away. After becoming better through that originally supposed loss, I found the dream materializing once again. Before I knew it, that hope again rested in my sights. And today I watched it disappear rather quickly. What is it that causes a personal desire to become something that has the power to cause literal, in every sense of the word, heartache? HOPE. We build our lives around hope. A hope to have this. A hope to accomplish this. A hope to experience that. Hope is what drives us to act. If we do not hope for a specific result, we have no reason to do anything. When hope is combined with passion, a dream is formed. A concept or idea then begins to raise up, and we go with it. We ride above the earth in pursuit of that which our heart craves. We ride higher and higher until we reach the joyous safety of success or until we tumble off to an unpleasant landing of, 'not quite.' We have a tendency to put hope in anything. This habit takes us on a rollercoaster through life shooting upward only to sometimes find ourselves plummeting downward. No one will ever achieve all of their dreams. It just doesn't happen. But does that mean that we should try to avoid building hope in things. No. Because, once again, without hope, we have no reason to do anything. If we cannot put our eyes forward to something worth striving for, we cannot experience life. Hope falls. It always will, but without having it periodically pulled out from underneath us thus leaving us to smack down again on the pavement of reality, we will never know what it's like to live with your heart leading the way. That is where dreams come in. Dreams are when that hope goes beyond what sounds nice and what looks reasonable. Dreams are stretching past what seems to make sense or appears to be likely. That is where the two definitions collide. The desires of our hearts combine with the concept of the unreal to produce a dream; something that simply can't be without a little magic and a whole lot of wholehearted devotion on our parts.
Life is meant for dreaming. Dreams will drift into the distance never to be realized. But they will leave behind a mark on the pursuant. Any man who chases a dream with an honest heart and full sincerity will discover unseen treasure along that path whether or not it ends in grasping the prize. If you can't get lost in a dream, you cannot expect to find true excitement in the journey of life.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
an explanation
Inspiration is everywhere you turn. It can be found everywhere from the obvious places such as friends and family to the most obscure such as a physics lesson or a tv show. It can be very easy to walk through life with blinders on and gaze facing downward, but when the blinders come off and the eyes see the world around, life discovers a new dimension. The world is full of lessons simply waiting to be learned. These lessons are not necessarily vital to our success in life, but they do promise to enhance life; to bring the student closer to what is real, to what matters. That is the theme of this blog (unless I feel moved to write about something that I simply can't find a way to connect... then it will just be it's own thing). It is a relation of the lessons life teaches me. As I go throughout my days, I see, hear, feel, and in general, experience things that help me to better understand who I am. Or they help me to see what it's all for, or how it all works. Sometimes I feel like I've unearthed a priceless message that will change my life forever, and other times, it's just something that helps me to find a little more happiness in my day to day living. I love life. I love to grow. I love truth and true emotion. I focus on what matters and what bears true meaning. And I find all of those things when I look for the inspiration that is all around us.
Most of this stuff will probably be pretty much entirely stream of consciousness writing composed entirely without any agenda other than that of turning my thoughts into something enduring. There will probably be some social commentary. There will probably be some personal commentary. There may be some satire. There may be some overly dramatic writing. If you don't like it, can't follow it's incoherency, or disagree with it, feel free to stop reading. If not, please enjoy.
Most of this stuff will probably be pretty much entirely stream of consciousness writing composed entirely without any agenda other than that of turning my thoughts into something enduring. There will probably be some social commentary. There will probably be some personal commentary. There may be some satire. There may be some overly dramatic writing. If you don't like it, can't follow it's incoherency, or disagree with it, feel free to stop reading. If not, please enjoy.
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